But I'm going to try to not make the WHOLE blog grumpy, because that's no fun and no one wants to hear me whine. I'll just make a list of the grump-worthy parts and then move on! And I'm only taking this time to blog because at the moment I'm finished with lesson plans and I'm waiting on laundry...
1. I'm drowninggg in school stuff :( There is never time to get it all done. Yet, I see other teachers always getting it all done and it makes me feel worthless, slow, and like I'll never reach my potential as an educator. Someone please tell me it gets better and mean it. Also, I feel like a goal that I set for myself, and discussed and agreed upon with my principal, is stressing me out more than it is helping, which was the whole point. BUT..I'm going to suck it up, do it, and then re-evaluate when the time comes!
2. My sister came to see me this weekend and all I did was work :( We went to a movie last night and hung out all weekend, but I was working most of the time and I feel like a horrible sister. I'm lucky that she loves me no matter what and seems to be happy about just being around me since we don't see each other often.
3. Ben leaves for training in Florida in 97 days (at my last count). I live by myself. He's over during the evening a lot so I don't feel like I'm alone all the time. When he leaves, I really will be alone all the time and I'm nervous and sad about it. He will be like 20 hours away and I'll only get to see him every couple months instead of every day or so...it is going to be such a huge change! I am going to try my best to be tough and not let it get me down, but I'm anticipating many sad days.
Despite all of that...I'm a pretty lucky girl. I have a family that loves me (even if I don't get to see them, like, ever), a boyfriend who loves me and would rope the moon for me (if he knew how to rope...),and some friends that I know are always there for me! I've continued being friends with Hannah, who I just love the heck out of; I've gotten to be great friends with Kathryn, who I am SO lucky to have in the same building as me and going through many of the same things I am; I'm making friends with a few other teachers that have been super-supportive; Heather and I still manage to talk now and then, AND a couple of my other friends still love and miss me even though we don't get to talk much! And not to mention, I still have a Savior who knows all my troubles, my hurts, my celebrations, my struggles, my insecurities, my joys, and everything else about me who is always a safe-haven in my dark moments.
I'm hanging in there, but the rope is fraying. Anyone out there a decent rope-fixer?
I keep hearing "it will be better next year; you just have to survive this year..." but that super-sucks.
ReplyDeleteLove you, hang in there, come spend the night any and every night you want, especially once Benny is gone.