On a Lighter Note

Did you know that you can clean piano keys with toothpaste? The regular paste kind, not the gel, and not one that is for tartar control because those are a little too abraisive. You can also clean tarnished silverware with toothpaste! Crazy.

I decided that my blog doesn't have to just be about serious things, and each entry doesn't have to be long, so I'm going to write about cool stuff I've discovered today on the Real Simple Magazine website today! (As you can tell, it's a busy day today for the head Special Ed teacher's sub...haha)

Did you know you can clean about a billion things with lemons? Mixing lemon juice with baking soda or salt can make it a great scrub for grout and shower walls...cool! And I love the way lemon smells, so that's a plus too :)

You can clean stained coffee mugs by sprinkling salt on a lemon peel and scrubbing...helpful to those of us who love coffee! (Candice, I'm lookin' at you!)

By the way, how gorgeous was Kate's (Duchess Catherine? Baroness Catherine? Princess William of Wales? She has too many titles now to know which one to use!) wedding dress?? Absolutely stunning! Elegant and demure yet not over-simplistic; I just love it! And not to mention, in the pictures I've seen (no, I haven't watched yet!) they looks so happy. They're actually giving each other sweet little smiles and saying little things to each other...so beautiful. They are such a cute couple who isnt' afraid to color outside the lines a little when it comes to the formality of their wedding (or entire lives, for that matter!) I just liked seeing them actually look happy in the middle of all the hullabaloo and pomp and circumstance of their wedding, when others before them have looked so stiff and scared.

Okay well that's all I have for now...two entries in two days! Weird for me! Bye y'all!

Praying through the frustration

Sometimes it's really hard not to feel like a big fat fail. I don't like it at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one who has never failed at things in life, but up until this point they have all been small things. Kickball, volleyball, basketball, OK anything involving a ball, I never won any kind of Bingo in school, my senior year my winterguard team that I put my heart and soul into got last at every competition we went to, I've fallen off horses more than I've stayed on, I stopped doing gymnastics when my sister who's 5 years younger than me got better than me, I only got the Participation badge in Elementary when we did the Presidential Physical Fitness Test...and the list of little things could go on and on.

But...I have never failed at something that was really big. I've always done well in school, I never had to re-take standardized tests, I've always written good papers (minus one that a professor ripped apart one time and made me cry, haha),I've never failed a final, I don't tend to let people down, I work to strengthen my faith, I hold on to my values, I have been told that I am super-creative when it comes to lessons, I feel that I've truly found my calling in teaching, and I've gotten any job I've ever interviewed for.

Until now. Yes, I understand that getting a teaching job is not the same as getting a job at Victoria's Secret, but I didn't expect not getting the teaching job I recently interviewed to hit me so hard. The interview was Tuesday, and I found out last night that a friend of mine got the position. Please don't get me wrong, I am so happy for her, she is lucky to be in such a great school, and she is going to do an amazing job! I'm just dealing with these feelings and thoughts of "I would've done an amazing job too...or at least I think so...will I be an amazing teacher?...Am I really good enough? What did I do wrong? Is anyone going to want me?" What sucks is that I'm pretty sure I will be a good teacher because it has become the one thing I feel I am truly good at. So when will I get to put this into real life? (Is this real life? haha sorry; gotta love David at the Dentist)

I'm sorry to be such a downer. I am lucky to have some people in my life who do believe in me and have been encouraging about this whole Taren-fails-at-life thing that I've been dealing with for the last 16 hours, haha. Luckily, I think it will pass. Until I don't get another job...and then maybe another...but alas! I need to keep my head held high because one of these days I will find the school that is the perfect fit and it will come just as surely as I thought it wouldn't. Does that make sense? If not, too bad. Ha! Anyway, I just get terrified when I think about the possibility of not finding a job. What the heck do I do for an entire year?? Para, or sub, and work at Buffalo Wild Wings in the evenings? I'm blessed to have a family that is OK with me living at home for a while...because if I can't find a job that might be my only option, haha. Good thing I like my fam and they like me!

I know that God is taking care of me. Each and every day, even when I don't think He is, He's got my back. He isn't going to let me go uncared for. I just need to keep trusting that I am not waiting to be a part of God's plan for my life; I'm already in it and He is working in my life right here in Manhattan, real-teaching-jobless. (Thanks to Hannah for reminding me of this!) I cannot let one failed interview beat me down like this. There is a plan, even if it isn't working in the time frame that seems convenient for me.

So, with a timidly-held head up high, I'll go back to filling out some more job applications. Hopefully one of them doesn't have to be B-Dubbs :)

Oh, it's been over a month?

Well, apparently it's been a lot longer than I thought since I last blogged...sorry about that, to my humble 7 followers :)

Not an incredible amount of things have really happened to me in the last month or so, so I hope this blog entry is still fun somehow! I'm still subbing in JC/The Fort, and I still like it...for now. It really does just make me want my own classroom. I want to decorate and plan and have good discussions with my students and know who they are...so, for now, subbing is fine, but I'm excited to move forward. I'm trying so hard not to be anxious and worrisome about finding a teaching job right now. I know several people who have their jobs lined up for next school year, and I'm not even close. I do trust in the Lord and His plan, and I know He will take care of me. Facing the fact that I do worry about finding a job is hard, because that shows doubt in the Lord and what He is doing in my life and has planned for my future. I make a conscious decision every day to remind myself that I have put my teaching future in His hands and to just relax and trust. It's hard, but I'm doing my very best! Prayers are appreciated, though!

Oh! I joined MaxFitness here in Manhattan and I stinkin' love it! Now, let me tell you something about me (if you don't already know haha). I HATE working out. Uggghhhhhh hate it! Always have! I don't know why I got the un-athletic gene in my family, but I did. All my siblings are athletes, my mom and dad were both athletes...so IDK what happened, but for some reason I've never enjoyed working out. Luckily, I found out that Max has spin classes. I've always wanted to try one because it looks like they totally kick your butt. Why did I want to try something that would kick my butt? Beats me. But, I did and...it's gotta be one of the greatest things ever! It really does work your butt off, and it's hard, but something about it just makes it exciting and fun. I love the instructors that I've had, and I've gotten so into it that I even went and bought mountain biking shoes so that I could clip in to the pedals (and it honestly makes the workout so much better!)! So yeah...yay spinning!

I still don't feel like this blog entry is very exciting...I'm sorry :(

This weekend has been a blast, at least! Thursday Heather and I went out for the first time in a while, which had its ups and downs, haha. I like to think I'm somewhat of a social person, because I like meeting and getting to know people, but the bars always make me a little uncomfortable. I'm not 100% sure why, but I always feel awkward at the bars. I mean it doesn't really bother me because I'm used to being awkward, haha. But anyway, Heather makes things fun, so it was a good time. My purple flats got spilled on, which is one of my constant fears anytime I'm around people who are drinking, haha, but as far as I can tell, they're pretty OK. Friday afternoon H and I hung out at Ben's and I did laundry. My trainer at Max at kicked by butt on a BOSU ball thing Thursday evening so I could barely move. That made for some hilarity, as far as my grunting and groaning went. Ben also thought it was funny to squeeze and punch my quads a few times...I yelled pretty loudly when that happened. Butthead.

Miss Sarah Troutt had her bridal shower on Saturday morning, which was so so much fun :) It made me even more excited for her wedding next month! I'm gonna cry, I just know it! Yay weddings!

Last night was an Air Force ROTC dining out, so Ben and I got all prettied up and had a great time! He ate salad and danced, so it was a night of me seeing new things from him, haha :) (PS he's my boyfriend now, in case no one caught that) Here's a pretty picture of us from last night!

UCC this morning was wonderful, as always, and really got me thinking about my motivations for doing some things. The sermon was on Jesus washing the disciples feet on the night he was to be betrayed by Judas. Humbleness and Humility are traits I think I possess, but it got me thinking that there are some things that I do sometimes that might be motivated by the desire to be better at something than someone, or maybe to make them feel guilty that they aren't doing it. Either way, neither of these motivations are Christ-like or reflective of how someone with a pure and full heart would have, so I am going to work on making sure my motivations for my actions are just as positive and right as the actions themselves! I love when I leave church and truly feel convicted to work on myself and my relationship with the Lord! Next Sunday is Easter, and I always love Easter services. Heather and Be's families are coming, so that makes it even better!

Okay, well, I think that should do it for now...my apologies for how LOOOONG this is! I felt like it needed to be since I waited so long between entries. I'll try to be better!

Until next time...

"Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” --John 13:7